Talk right or don’t talk at all
In previous blogs, I have mentioned that a favorite past-time of we old buggers is to reminisce however; those reminiscences are frequently accompanied by complaints that things “aint what they used to be.” Of course, if offered a ticket to travel back to those those good old days, we would definitely not be first in line. In the time-honored tradition of curmudgeons everywhere, I try to come up with at least one complaint per day, and today’s version greeted me the first thing this morning when I turned on the TV for my morning CNN fix.
This latest complaint has to do with girls. This has nothing to do with girls in general for I like girls. I have sired and helped raise three of them and like them a lot. I have been living with one for 65 years and still like her a lot most of the time (the periods of dislike are brief and usually occur in the heat of battle, and she becomes likeable again as soon as I surrender). I have found females easier to work with in therapy, and feel that they have received a raw deal from us guys throughout history. This latest complaint seems to have begun its evolution with the millennials and I believe has become more prevalent with those younger whippersnappers who are referred to as generation Z. Link to article Where Millenials End and Gen Z Begins.
It has been said that if it quacks like a duck and looks like a duck it must be a duck. The very attractive young woman who appeared on the TV screen this morning certainly did not look like a duck, but did quack like a duck. As a matter of fact, I had so much difficulty understanding her, I pulled out my hearing aides to see if they had gone bad. This was not the first time I had noted this peculiar murder of the rules of good elocution. Although, I have limited contact with kids these days, I have noted the phenomenon to be prevalent in an even more severe form in teenagers. Fortunately, my granddaughters have shown no evidence of having suffered this affliction.
Editor’s Note: Eshrink isn’t alone…this link goes to a story entitled “Old people find millennial women’s voices annoying.”
It should come as no surprise to those who know me that as a naturally curious person and “scientist wannabe” that I would set out to explore the cause of these peculiar sounds masquerading as speech. In short order, my research discovered that those sounds could be produced by channeling one’s speech through their nose. By doing so I found that I could replicate the sound with little effort and produce that quacking sound which makes me cringe much as I did when the teacher made that screeching sound writing with chalk on the blackboard (do they still use chalk?). This mechanism should come as no surprise as it is known that the quality of sound waves can be modified by the confines through which they travel.
While in the midst of my research it occurred to me that the French seem to speak through their noses a lot, but their speech is pleasant, almost melodic in its presentation, and never seems ducklike. I attempted to find out why there are different types of nasal speech, but the papers I found on the subject were complicated. I did learn that such speech patterns are usually habitual, and I am concerned that if the practice continues unabated these otherwise normal duck-speak girls will produce babies who will emulate their mothers. In the interest of saving our great nation from the evils of duck-speak, I was able to find a website which offers suggestions as to how one can overcome this malady: https://www.sportsrec.com/stop-talking-through-nose-8286305.html. In the mean-time parents should initiate a “talk right or don’t talk at all” policy. This should not be much of a problem for the kids as they would rather text than talk anyway.
Editor’s Note: While I couldn’t find much about the nasal situation or “duck talking” Eshrink references, there are many articles about vocal fry, creaky voice, and upspeak. Below are just a few that might be of interest.