Cane Therapy

This is Eshrink (my dad) with his cane while he, mom, me, and Annette (pictured) had appetizers and happy hour on their patio last week. Annette is my high school and lifelong BFF. Dad always (and still does) called her Mort (short for Moritmer).

         For the Past couple of years I have been using a cane.  I am an old white guy, but I can’t help that (even though I realize that old white guys are not very popular these days).   As a matter of fact, by today’s standards, I am a very old white guy, which gives me license to use that cane as an alternative to falling because we old guys of any color are prone to take a tumble…and the old gals, too.  Falling is not a trivial event for old guys.  Two of my closest friends, both old guys, have died from falls.  According to the CDC the annual death rate from falls among those age 65 or above is 64 per 100,000.  For those of us 85 and over that number is increasing by 4% each year.  Falls are now the leading cause of accidental death in us old people in addition to massive numbers of debilitating injuries.  I have fallen a couple of times in the past year, but fortunately have escaped serious injury.  

           That leaves me with little doubt that my cane has saved my life on multiple occasions by preventing me from falling, and since I very much like being alive and able to ambulate on my own, there is little wonder that I feel great affection for my cane.  However, it serves a secondary, but no less important function.  It facilitates love.  My use of a cane has changed my relationships with my fellow humans in a very positive way.  As an old, retired shrink, I am accustomed to observing other people while monitoring my own feelings, and I can attest to the fact that you are noticed when using a cane.  I have been amazed at how often people will open a door or stand aside and motion me to move on ahead of them when in a line.  If you appear to struggle a bit getting out of a chair, they frequently offer to give you a hand. 

           In my case becoming an old guy sneaked up on me, and I guess I was in denial for I had become rather gimpy before I finally relented and purchased a cane.  There was also an unwillingness to accept help from strangers and a tinge of resentment for I am not only an old guy but consider myself to be a tough old guy!  Who in the hell did they think they were by judging me to be a helpless old goat? 

Could Caring Explain How Human Beings’ Dominated the Planet? Is it in our DNA?

Then one day I had a serendipitous experience in of all places a mall parking lot.  With the help of my cane, I was attempting to pry myself from my car (which is always a struggle since my car is low to the ground) when a guy showed up asking if he could help.  He quickly unstuck my foot and offered his arm to lift me out.  I looked up to thank him and noted a look of what seemed genuine concern when he asked if I was OK.  I was overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude that this guy had gone out of his way to help me simply because he cared.  I had a sense that he also felt good about the experience.  I was left with a life changing insight (we shrinks like to use that word), as it suddenly occurred to me that without this type of interaction we humans would never have been able to survive let alone dominate the planet. 

Who would have volunteered to help kill a mastodon if he didn’t think his buddies cared enough to cover his back?  A few thousand years later, we are now even more dependent upon others in order to survive the vicissitudes of modern life in a complex society.  We have evolved to the extent that concern for our brethren has become a part of us and is encoded in our DNA.  In that vein, I found it interesting that in a study of recipients of the Carnegie Medal for Bravery, all reported they acted upon impulse without thought of the consequences. Check out the article and videos here.

Human Connection Saves Lives

It has also become an important factor in our emotional and mental health.  The feeling of being unloved was at the heart of many of my patients’ troubles often leading to poor self-esteem, depression, and unhealthy relationships, even anger and violence, but even worse is the conviction that one is unlovable which may result in the hopelessness we associate with suicidal behavior.  I find it interesting that many of the mass killings we witness are perpetrated by males who are characterized as “loners” (i.e., those, who for whatever reason, feel alienated).  It has been shown that total isolation for even a few weeks may result in psychotic decompensation even in apparently healthy individuals.  Politicians are only successful when they convince voters that they care about them. 

Soldiers who have been in combat often demand to be sent back into battle with their former comrades because of their concern for them, and that killing enemies is necessary to protect their buddies.  We learned from the debacle of the Romanian babies born in orphanages behind the iron curtain that children cannot thrive in an atmosphere without personal loving interaction.  We even have empathy for those poor souls more than a thousand miles away in the Ukraine.  However, these are only a few of the myriad ways that caring about each other enters virtually every aspect of our lives.  Furthermore, they provide evidence that such interactions are not only pleasurable but essential for our well-being and to life itself.

Love. Lust. And Caring.

Love is an oft used word which is used and at times misused to describe feelings of affection.  Poets, philosophers, theologians, musicians, artists, and shrinks of all stripes have long been attempting to define it.  They categorize it according to the initial stimulus which precipitated the feeling.  For example, one would not equate lust with love unless it was accompanied by a feeling of affection i.e. caring for more than just the person’s body.   Nevertheless, it is often lust that gets the potential lover’s attention.  As he investigates further, he may find other things he likes, and the courtship begins which is his attempt to demonstrate that he is loveable.  If he is successful, they fall down the rabbit hole together and live happily ever after (excuse me for using only one gender for any combination may apply).  The lovers have learned to enjoy and consequently value each other’s company.  In other words, they care about each other. 

Although I don’t mean to equate my cane to lust, the cane does get people’s attention, and is the impetus to a brief but caring relationship, which I submit is the basic ingredient of love.  Most religions extol the virtue of loving each other, and it is true that to do so would solve many of the world’s problems.  To that end perhaps we should produce fewer guns and more canes.

P.S. Irony is alive and well at our house for in the midst of writing this elegant essay, I heard a loud scream and found Barb flat on the floor with a fractured wrist (the second time for that one), but she is doing well mow.  Obviously, she pays little heed to my admonitions to be careful and not fall.

Mom looking spunky as ever after her “spill” that dad referenced above. A cane is on its way 🙂

Editors Note: Eshrink wrote this blog weeks ago and I have been derelict in my editing/posting duties. When I visited mom and dad last week after the my BIG 40th High School Reunion Weekend with Annette, I took mom to follow-up appointment from the fall she had 4 weeks ago. She is healing well and such a trooper!


When I was a kid I enjoyed listening to the sound of train whistles. As they approached our small midwestern town, those smoke belching monsters would unleash a chorus of ear splitting blasts that would cascade into a mournful crescendo heard for miles, then fade away as they headed out into the distance. At night, those whistles became a haunting lullaby leaving a kid to drift off with wonder as to where that train was going, what it was carrying, and what it would feel like to be in charge of all that power.

train dads blog
Thirty or so years later, I returned to that little town of my youth, and found there was very little train traffic. There is still one train which appears periodically and toots its electric horn. It tries to mimic the steam whistles of old, but fails miserably. It runs a very short route from a strip mine a few miles south to a coal fed power plant just a few miles up the road. On a couple of occasions, I have been stuck at a railroad crossing and watched as a long string of cars neatly filled with sized lumps of coal head towards huge furnaces that will produce enough steam to power generators sending millions of volts of electricity to a large area of the country, not the least of which is my house.
On the most recent of such encounters, I found myself wondering how many tons of CO2 would be sent into the atmosphere by that coal. Later, I would find the plant had used 1,716,286 tons of coal in 2017. As I sat there with my car idling and the interior a comfortable 70 degrees while outside it was nearly 90, I thought about all this climate stuff and chastised myself for having recently bought the polluter I was driving. Then it occurred to me that if I drove an electric car, I would still need the electricity produced by that coal to charge the battery. Then came the reminiscences of the oppressive feelings associated with similar hot days of my youth and those nights of attempting to sleep while bathed in sweat. Would I be willing to return to those “good old days?” Truthfully, the thought of my air conditioner failing terrifies me.

the sopranos

In the TV series, “The Sopranos” Tony turns down the advances of a seductive female with whom he is negotiating a business deal by saying: “I never shit where I eat.” We humans are pretty smart and we do a lot of good things, but we don’t very often heed Tony’s advice for it seems that progress has become almost synonymous with environmental degradation. In order to make life easier, we produce all kinds of things. In the process, we devour natural resources, produce mountains of waste, and poison our habitat. It requires a great deal of energy to make all that stuff, and even more to utilize it. Not to worry, for the earth has been collecting and burying the carcasses of extinct critters, trees, and plants for millions of years. It burns easily, is accessible, and produces enough energy to satisfy nearly any need.


Coal is King

Coal was the most plentiful, easiest to harvest, and therefore cheapest of the fossil fuels. There is evidence that coal was used in manufacturing during the bronze age, but since the advent of the industrial age vast quantities have been used not just for manufacturing but also for heating and the generation of electricity. The major problem with coal was that it was dirty. The steam engines used to power locomotives and the earliest automobiles exuded large amounts of black smoke and sticky soot. That problem of powering rolling stock was solved with the invention of the internal combustion engine as the combustion of highly volatile petroleum products were largely invisible. With the insatiable demands for energy to make stuff and provide creature comforts, coal the cheapest and most available source became king, but there was still that problem with smoke and soot which not only soiled everything, but made it hard to breathe.

smoke stacks 1970s

The Law of Unintended Consequences

Since everything in nature is interconnected, whenever we attempt to fix one thing, we usually screw up something else. The way we dealt with the emissions from coal is an excellent example of such a process. The yucky smoke and ash problem was solved by sending it high in the sky via tall chimneys. In some areas of the country, smokestacks reached over 1,000 feet. They accomplished their purpose, but unfortunately by the 1970s trees were dying and fish were disappearing from lakes and streams in the northeastern U.S. There was also the problem of corrosion and rusting of exposed metal structures, such as bridges. It was eventually determined the cause was “acid rain” caused by smokestack emissions from the industrial Midwest.

acid rain

In 1982, at the height of the debates about acid rain, our community gained its 15 minutes of fame when two intrepid green-peace protesters decided to protest by climbing 800 feet to the top of one of our stacks and stayed there for three days.
The emissions from the burning of coal contain sulfur dioxide and nitric oxides which when released in the upper atmosphere react to the sun’s rays to form sulfuric and nitric acids which are carried in clouds, usually in an easterly direction.


This problem found a solution in “scrubbers” placed inside the stacks to capture those chemicals which was very cool, but does nothing about the massive amounts of carbon dioxide (CO2) liberated from billions of tons of coal. To date, no one has found a solution for that problem. As a matter of fact, the scrubbers installed have apparently not been very effective on our old power plant built in 1957, and the plant is scheduled to be closed in a year. Locally, there will be no dancing in the streets for the plant has been a major employer for an already depressed area. The economic impact will likely affect many more. Will there be any market for coal from that mine, and will the train tracks which only go from the mine to the plant be taken up? If we ever do decide to get off our butts and do something about climate change there will be many similar scenarios in which people will fear more for their immediate well-being than the effects of global warming.

Cuyahoga River Fire 1952

This is actually a picture from the Cuyahoga River fire in 1952. Fun fact: there are no pictures from the 1969 fire.

There have always been tree huggers, but the environmental movement got a big shot in the arm when the Cuyahoga River caught fire in 1969 (see the original report at this link). The river ran through an area of heavy industry in Cleveland, and the incident gained international attention. Many feel it provided the impetus for the formation of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) a year later. That agency has registered some successes. The Cuyahoga River is no longer flammable and people now even fish its waters. The acid rain problem is much improved, and the banning of chlorofluorocarbons  (link to article in Scientific American about CFCs) in spray cans has resulted in closure of the hole in the ozone layer, but carbon dioxide (CO2), along with its cousin methane, the chief culprits of greenhouse gases continue to accumulate. As a matter of fact, it has been documented there has been a 45% increase in the atmospheric level of carbon dioxide since the beginning of the industrial revolution.

The EPA does not garner a lot of support these days. Our President appointed an avowed climate denier, Scott Pruit, as head of the agency. After he left in disgrace, he was replaced by a former lobbyist for the coal industry (Andrew Wheeler), who had even led in filing suit against the EPA prior to joining its ranks – not surprising since one of Trump’s campaign promises was to revitalize the coal industry. Of course, it is no secret that the President is no fan of all this environmental stuff. He has characterized the climate change evidence as a hoax most likely perpetrated by the Chinese. One of his first acts after taking office was the announcement of his intent to pull out of the Paris accords regarding climate change. Only a few days ago the Vice President Pence in a television interview refused to agree that climate change was a serious problem.


Science is in need of a good PR Campaign

Science has been getting a bad rap recently. Respect for scientists and more importantly trust in their findings seems to have faded. Too many mothers now reject scientific evidence of the safety and effectiveness of vaccines, and in their zeal to protect their children put them at risk. There appears to be a resurgence of antipathy from “creationists” toward those who study evolution. Some see scientists as godless “intellectual elite” groupies with liberal political agendas consequently; climate change, which many including myself believe to be the most pressing issue of our time, has become politicized with a bit of help from the fossil fuel industry. Thus, in spite of mountains of data confirming we are all at risk from extreme man-made global warming, climate change deniers abound.

In its purest form science is a search for facts. Truth is generally a conclusion based on a collection of facts. At least that is my definition for whatever that is worth. It has also been said that facts answer the questions of where, when, and how; while truth seeks to understand why.

Unfortunately, in this day of social media dominance which makes it easy to promulgate “alternative facts,” conspiracy theories, innuendos, distortions, and altered descriptions of all kinds, truth is not always easily available. The climate deniers initially debunked facts by quoting one scientist of dubious reputation who wrote it all off as normal fluctuations of weather patterns. When he was discredited and data accumulated, many acknowledged there might be a problem in the distant future, but continued to insist it had nothing to do with human activity consequently; nothing could be done about it.

The scientific method attempts to screen emotional biases from research consequently; scientists may at first glance appear to be stoic and uncaring. There is not much touchy-feely stuff in most scientific papers, so imagine my surprise when I recently came across an article written by David Corn in the August issue of Mother Jones titled “Weight of the World” which concerned reports on the mental status of a group of climate scientists. The story was based on interviews with many academic scientists who study climate.



The common theme through all these interviews with climate scientists was of frustration, anxiety and depression in various degrees. One scholar who was studying the effects of ocean temperatures on climate became clinically depressed. Another reported that she had decided she would not have any children because of her concerns as to the type of world in which they would live.


One of the unwritten tenets of scientific endeavor is that one should follow the facts wherever they lead regardless of their political or religious beliefs. The goal should always be to present facts and the presumption is that the facts will speak for themselves. The frustration shared by these people who have dedicated their lives to the study of climate is the feeling that the facts regarding the seriousness, and even the existence of climate change, are not being heard.
Certainly, there are groups and individuals who have a financial or political stake in the denial of climate change, and some like myself, who worry about giving up their air conditioning and all that other energy gobbling stuff I have come to enjoy. Those who warn us of the climate change crisis are accused by many of being duped by unseen forces, influenced by outside influences, or often as simply a bunch of “chicken littles” (i.e. publicity seeking alarmists who overstate the problem).

The source of the anger, frustration, and hopelessness expressed by these highly respected researchers however was the feeling that worse than challenging their findings was the feeling that no one was even listening to their concerns. Such situations have been referred to as the Cassandra syndrome, so named for a goddess in Greek mythology who was given the gift of prophecy but received a curse which prevented anyone from believing her.


Is Ignorance Bliss?

Indeed, it does seem that many don’t even bother to refute their findings, but just simply ignore them. One cannot help but wonder if there is also a blame the messenger scenario involvement. It is becoming more difficult to deny the existence of the problem as we witness prophecies of more frequent and more severe climate related disasters come to pass. Average temperatures continue to rise and as they do there are more frequent and serious floods, droughts, fires, and storms throughout the world. Sea levels are rising. Glaciers are melting, massive ice sheets are falling into the sea. Arctic permafrost is melting and expected to release even more greenhouse gases into the atmosphere. For those who would listen it should be obvious that these events are simply previews of coming attractions, and that global warming is not a future event but is already here. We only need look and we will see that millions are already suffering.


We are told that an increase in average global temperatures of more that 2 degrees will take us beyond the point of no return, yet to date our efforts to do something about it is like emptying a bathtub with a teaspoon. As we monitor these events it appears that previous predictions of the pace of such warming have been underestimated. We continue to pollute, and to destroy nature’s remedies as for example the logging and burning which is especially prevalent in the Amazon rain forest. Trees not only absorb CO2 but use it to produce oxygen, that precious gas without which we cannot live for more than a few minutes.  The world population continues to increase and improved standards of living in developing countries results in more flesh eaters consequently; more animals raised for food which are a major source of methane a major greenhouse gas.

Mother Earth will survive. Will we?

Most climatologists’ predictions extend only for a few decades, but what about farther down the road. I have grandchildren and have hope that I will still be around long enough to meet my great grandchildren, but I wonder what their world will be like and what travails they will face, and if that will be the last generation of homo sapiens on the planet. Lest you think we are immune from extinction, let me remind you that we are one of many species descended from common ancestors who no longer exist. And that there are thousands of species of animals and plants that are now extinct as a result of changes in their environments. The Neanderthals, our closest relatives, lived in Europe for 40, 000 years, then mysteriously disappeared, some theorize due to climate change.


The irreverent George Carlin in one of his stand-up routines cynically reassured us that the earth would do just fine without us,  He seems to have been one of the first to have the audacity to suggest extinction a possibility.


So far, we have managed to adapt to changes with the help of our king-sized brains, but as mammals we are quite fragile. We are susceptible to a variety of toxic substances. Our ability to tolerate drastic changes in our environment is quite limited. We cannot live with body temperature fluctuations of more than a few degrees, and require continuous immersion in an oxygen atmosphere. We cannot live long without water and are susceptible to more fatal illnesses than most other creatures. In spite of all our vulnerabilities, when faced with the prospect of an uninhabitable planet, little mention is made of the possibility of the extinction of the human race.
lamar-smith-climate-change-denier-voters-1495136715Those scientists who warn us of what is to come should by honored as heroes. We do honor others such as “first responders” who respond to disasters however give little credence to those who attempt to prevent them. I suffered through the most recent so-called democratic presidential debate and saw little evidence of their concern about the state of our planet. Only one in that gang of candidates, Jay Inslee the governor of Washington, who has made climate change his number one priority, and other than for him little was said on the subject. As for the moderators, their contribution was to ask at the very end of the debate for a show of hands as to how many believed climate change was a serious problem. They all raised their hands, but there was no discussion of the subject and neither the moderators or the candidates other than Inslee brought up the issue during that painful 2 hour marathon.

According to the latest figures available nearly 75% of Americans identify themselves as Christian. As such we are taught to give thanks for all that God has provided yet it appears to me that our obligation of stewardship over all that which we have been given gets little attention in our worship services. Likewise, the news media makes casual mention in their reporting of news regarding climate change which in my opinion deserve front page coverage. After all, if there are no longer people on the planet all those issues will be irrelevant.

A few years ago Al Gore produced a movie titled “An Inconvenient Truth” which could hardly be considered a blockbuster, yet that title fits perfectly with what we see today. In order to avoid catastrophic effects to the planet there must be an awakening of the world’s population. We must avoid soft-pedaling information about the problem and talk about its consequence in stark terms. We need to not only hear but listen to those knowledgeable about our environment. As a matter of fact, their messages should be amplified so that they can be heard throughout the world.  Our PR and advertising experts have demonstrated their ability to convince the populace of anything.  I am reminded of the effectiveness of efforts to diminish the use of tobacco which motivated many including myself to quit.  Certainly, a condition which threatens the well being and indeed the very existence of the entire human race should deserve equal attention.

We need to look beyond this century for as an old guy who has put in the time I can attest to the fact that 80 years is not a long time. We need to use the term extinction (extinction of the human race) in our conversation even though it may produce some feelings of panic (maybe not such a bad thing).


Nothing Unites Humans Like a Common Enemy

There are many forces which conspire to keep us at odds with each other, and it has long been known that the easiest way to unite people is to find a common enemy or cause. Perhaps if we could all feel equally threatened we could put away all that trivial stuff and concentrate on saving our planet…actually, saving the human race.


It seems to me that legacy does not occupy the thoughts of many these days.  Perhaps we are so caught up in the pace of change that we are unable to visualize the future, and consequently predict what tools will be needed, or simply that we are so preoccupied with the here and now that thoughts of the future beyond our immediate family don’t occur.   We who who have left our carbon footprints have one last opportunity to make amends for what we have done.


Ignorance is no longer a valid excuse.

Editor’s Note: If you’re feeling helpless, check out these two organizations I discovered during my research. Stay informed. Voice your concern. Sign the petition.

P.S. There’s even a rebel group called Extinction Rebellion for the rabid activists.


The Annual Eshrink Christmas Letter

December 8, 2018

Dear Yuletide Revelers:

Some of you may be surprised to learn that we are still alive and well (sort of). I feel confident that my post-holiday decorating back pain will subside in time for me to suffer a reoccurrence while taking the stuff down. We do grunt, groan, and complain although our aches and pains are not expected to be fatal.

Tradition dictates that Christmas letters are for bragging about the accomplishments of one’s progeny spiced with little known facts about their superior intellect, physical prowess, good looks, and monumental achievements. However, in the spirit of the season, I have decided to forego such descriptions in order to spare you the painful envy of comparisons with your own brood. Consequently, I will only list their current vocational activities as follows in order of their ages:

  • Sue (Pete’s wife) continues in her heroic struggle to help severely disabled children.
  • Peter remains the star sales representative for Siffron.
  • Jim (Trudy’s husband) does contract engineering work for a chemical company.
  • Trudy is now reaching for the top rung of the ladder with Allergan.
  • Maggie, is the outstanding international marketing director for Hurco.
  • The grandkids as you might expect are also “well above average”, Emma as dietician in a large hospital, Simon an executive at a burgeoning start-up company, Carter a basketball coach at his alma mater Stonehill, Caroline with an academic scholarship at Indiana University and Sofia a straight A student and outstanding gymnast.

Those of you who are readers of my blog (there must be someone who is) are already acquainted with the exploits of our newest family member, Floyd the wonder dog. You may recall that on a few occasions his zeal for exploration has led him to lower car windows in order to leap out. His desire to meet new people motivated him to successfully eluded us more than once (we are not so speedy anymore). During such forays he has managed to gain entrance to several off-limits facilities including an IHOP restaurant, a grocery store, our local hospital, and the narthex of our church where he was escorted out in a rather unchristian like manner. In all the other cases he was greeted warmly (he does have a sparkling personality).

Our Thanksgiving, which the family spent at Trudy’s house was marred by tragedy which involved Floyd and Lucy, Trudy’s 18 yearold cat. Lucy had seen better days, but was nevertheless affectionate and Trudy’s favorite. She was a feline version of Helen Keller i.e. both deaf and blind with a moth-eaten appearance which was at first glance a bit off putting. Nevertheless, she was loved dearly and Trudy had found it difficult to make a decision to have her euthanized. In order to avoid gruesome details, I can only say that Floyd resolved Trudy’s ambivalence. Trudy’s devastation was made even worse because she was fond of Floyd. Needless to say, Floyd, although forgiven is now persona non grata at Trudy’s house (she has another cat). I am convinced that Floyd’s motives were pure and that his was an act of merciful euthanasia. I refuse to accept the premise that Floyd’s loving demeanor is simply an act to cover his true identity as a sadistic murderer. Yet there is the unsolved mystery of the possum and squirrel carcasses which appeared on our doorstep months ago.

Ah, but I digress for this is “the season to be jolly”, and certainly not a time to focus on morbid subjects. To that end, I need to mention the annual Smith family vacation of 2018 which is now archived along with 20 some previous ones (there is some disagreement as to the exact number) and I am happy to report that all survived. This year we rented a very well-appointed log house in the mountains of West Virginia, which even came equipped with a barn cat and a dog of undetermined lineage named Marley. We were told that Marley was a strictly outdoor dog however; he seemed quite comfortable hanging out in the house with the gang.   This did present some logistical problems since Marley liked to swim in the pond.

Marley was also frequently visited by a German Shepherd neighbor who acted like a puppy even though he was about the size of Shetland pony, and sounded like one as he galloped through the house. In any event he seemed to like us well enough and became a permanent fixture while we were there. I initially called him Henry, but he soon became known by the less formal name Hank. He liked to join his buddy Marley in an occasional swim in the pond after which he neglected to clean the mud from his paws (I hope the owners never read this). To the kids’ credit (I know what you are thinking but they will always be kids to me) there was a final push to undo the damage and the place was left looking “as if it never even happened”.

As usual the time was much too short, but at this point finding even one week in which all could get together has become difficult. Last minute obligations eliminated Carter, and Maggie’s arrival was delayed 2 days as was Pete’s due to work pressures in both cases. The highlight of the week was undoubtedly white-water rafting from which I had graciously excused myself. Barb was able to check off one item from her bucket list as we spent a day at the Greenbriar, but the best time for me was simply sitting on the porch listening to the quiet which was only corrupted by a chorus of singing birds. I was disappointed to find the place well populated with functioning television sets, but was able to limit my addiction although; I did relapse on a couple of occasions. It seems even the boondocks are no longer safe from the ravages of Trump fatigue.

You have probably noticed that this letter violates the long-held Smith rule for brevity for which I apologize, but in case you made it this far please know that Barb and I wish you all the merriest of Christmases, or happiest of Hanukkahs and the best year of your life.

Love to all












Since the polls seem to indicate that my politically oriented blogs have had little effect on solving the world’s problems, I have decided to concentrate on using what energies I have left, to do what we old folks do best. With decades of experience watching the world become even more screwed-up than it was when we entered the picture, we are in a position to become expert complainers. BONUS: now that we are retired, we have the time to exercise that talent.

Unfortunately, as Barb can attest, in my zeal to exercise that hard-won ability, I usually become all puffed up, well-rehearsed, and ready to raise hell, only to be deflated when I find out that my complaint was not valid. Just today, I called ready to do battle with my trash collecting company because I thought they had come on the wrong day. I vowed not to be deterred from my mission by the sweet little voice who answered the phone, but as usual, I was wrong about the schedule. It seems the time spent rehearsing my vituperative speech was all for naught.


This kind of experience happens to me all too often, especially now that my brain has been softened by the effects of the mild cognitive impairment that is common to us old farts. It is true that I have never been particularly adept at confrontation except when I am in control, as in the case of most therapeutic relationships. Teddy Roosevelt famously advised: “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” I am a soft speaker, but evidently my stick is not large enough. Therefore, I envy those guys whose commanding voices garner instant attention while my feeble attempts at conversation are drowned. It occurs to me that perhaps this accounts for my choice of writing as a way to register my complaints (my shrink would have been proud of me for such an insight).


Due to my limited capacity to vocalize my disdain, I now find myself bulging with unleashed bitching. Some of you who have read my previous blogs (there must be someone who has) may have noticed that I have already listed a number of complaints, but rest assured my reservoir is a bottomless pit. Previous complaints have been of national or global import but since they have had no effect on the screwed-up world, I have decided to start at the bottom and work my way up to the big stuff such as climate change, environmental degradation, bigotry, poverty, and crooked, lying or impaired government leaders.

With that in mind I have decided to start on an issue which many would consider minor, but which bugs me to distraction. It is the current fad that anything of importance must be abbreviated. In my opinion acronyms should be banned from everything except kid’s cellphones (most don’t learn spelling in school). They have their own phonetic system of short hand for their digital meanderings.


The use of its beginning letter as a substitute for a word has long frustrated me to the point of unexpressed profanity, but has become even more of a problem as I see my short-term memory decay along with the rest of me. It is unclear to me when the use of acronyms in the scientific literature first began, but as research became more complex the words got longer and the acronyms more frequent. It has now become SOP (see what I did there?) for every key word or phrase to appear once, thence its acronym is used throughout the rest of the paper. There are so many key words or phrases in any paper, that I find myself going back frequently to find the word which defines the acronym. Fortunately, my long-term memory is still intact and I do recall having the same problem when I was a young whippersnapper.


Now, I realize that DNA is easier to say or write than deoxyribonucleic acid, and that CRISPR is a much more sensible name for the process used in genome editing technology than “Clustered Regularly Interspaced Short Palindromic Repeats.” Nevertheless, I challenge anyone to read any issue of The American Journal of Psychiatry, for example without becoming confused by all the abbreviations. I can handle a few of these lingual abominations, but doubt that the use of words would take up so much space as to cause the use of more pages.


As to the origin of such ubiquitous use of acronyms in the scientific literature in medicine, I suspect that it has to do with the fact that prior to the digital age physicians spent endless hours writing reports, clinical records, treatment notes, etc., long hand. Since we were always in a hurry, it is not surprising that our writing would eventually become illegible. I was one of those dinosaurs who found writing BPH rather than Benign Prostate Hypertrophy was a time saver, likewise CHF for Congestive Heart Failure or COPD for chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. There are abbreviations for every diagnosis or procedure imaginable, but in a time when most young doctors type faster than we can talk, or in many cases, Alexa types for them, why not use words?


In 1969, the FDA in their infinite wisdom decided to allow pharmaceutical advertising and the drug companies jumped on the bandwagon presumably thinking that they would sound more medical with acronyms. The first such ad that came to my attention featured Viagra as a treatment for erectile dysfunction, or ED for short. It was endorsed by, of all people, Bob Dole, a senior senator who was defeated in a bid for President by Bill Clinton in 1996. It is true that following the divorce from his first wife, Bob married a much younger woman. Consequently, he may have become sufficiently impressed with the efficacy of Viagra that he became an ardent supporter and wanted to spread the good news to fellow ED sufferers.

I can attest to the fact that there are many such enthusiasts. I recall the first time I prescribed Viagra. It was so successful that my patient called less than a week later requesting a refill in spite of my having prescribed 10 tablets with directions to be used “as needed.” Nevertheless, in Bob’s case I suspect that financial rather than public service interests motivated him to share more about his personal life than we wanted to know.


But the beat goes on for just last night I saw an ad on television repeated ad nauseum hawking medication for PE and DVT, and I won’t tell you what diagnoses they represent. See what I mean? In spite of the realization that my complaint will be “little noted or long remembered” and have no effect on how we communicate, I do feel some relief. Additionally, I am comforted by the belief that Miss Higgins (my high school English teacher) would be proud of me for she had described the use of the contraction “ain’t” in the place of “isn’t” as “a willingness to corrupt language in order to avoid one syllable.”


Last week I published a tongue-in-cheek response to an op-ed I had read in the editorial page of our local newspaper. The admonishment of the writer of the op ed that we should limit our talk about childhood sexual abuse stirred up some painful memories for me of patients who were attempting to overcome the effects of childhood sexual abuse.

A True Story
One case in particular comes to mind. This patient was an attractive young woman who came to see me with vague complaints and reported she had come because: “I just want something for my nerves.” After initial hesitation, she was able to give a more detailed history. Her general presentation confirmed my initial impression that she was suffering from clinical depression. She seemed shy and avoided eye contact until I asked if she worked, at which time she looked directly at me as if to assess my response as she hesitantly told me she worked as an “exotic dancer.” Apparently, I passed the test, for at that point, she unloaded in great detail how she had chosen such a career, and how she hated it.
She grew up in a blue collar family. Her father was a factory worker who forbade his wife from working. Her dad was a periodic, episodic alcoholic, and when drunk, was violent and abusive. When sober he was easily provoked. Mother was cowed, totally submissive, and seemingly helpless to protect her children from her husband’s rages. My patient (we shall call her Mary) along with her two older brothers developed strategies to avoid Dad when he was expected to come home drunk. As Mary grew into adolescence, her father began to take notice of her, and finally on the return from one of his nightly drunken forays came into her room and raped her.

But this was not the end of the abuse for the old man had the temerity to excuse his behavior by telling Mary that it was only because he loved her that he was sexually attracted to her. She accepted his advances as she was terrified at the thought of his beating her as he periodically did her mother.

Think it couldn’t get any worse?
Think it could’t get worse than this? Wrong. Soon her brothers emulated their father and to make matters even more unbearable bragged about having sex with her to their friends at school. As you might expect, this led to pursuit by many of the boys at school who were convinced that she was an “easy lay.” And where was Mary’s mother while this was going on? Mary was convinced she was aware, and attempted to convince herself that mother was so beaten down as to be rendered helpless, but she was also horrified to think that her own mother might have offered Mary up to her father in order that she would not be a target of his rages.
Emotional Extortion
Mary’s father had promised all kinds of dire consequences if Mary should ever breathe a word to any one about his behaviors. She knew that she would get no support from her mother were she to seek outside help. By now, even Mary’s teachers were convinced that she had become a problem as they heard that she was promiscuous. There was a reluctance to tell anyone due to the intense feelings of shame she felt about the incestuous relationships. There was also that long held custom of blaming the female in such situations, of which Mary undoubtedly was well aware.

The Spiral
The effect of all these prohibitions was made evident as she several times during the session asked for reassurance of confidentiality. In such a situation, the only sensible thing for her to do was run away, which is what she did. From then until the time of our session, her chronology was a bit hazy. I suspect that some pimp thought he had struck it rich when he discovered this beautiful little runaway. Although she did not admit to such, it seems likely she did engage in prostitution. In any event, at this point I felt it not necessary to probe deeper into her past for I had already seen enough pain to last for the rest of the day. It is enough to say that somewhere along the line she did find a way to use the only tool available for her to make a living in a semi-legitimate manner by swinging around a pole naked. Unfortunately, I never saw her again but noted the “men’s club” where she had been working was closed down by the sheriff. Her name was not listed among those who were arrested.

Sex abuse survivors suffer long after the abuse ends 
You may be thinking stories of this kind unusual, but they are not rare. It has been several years since that day I saw Mary, but I still think of her occasionally and wonder what her life is like now. I hope she found a good guy to marry has a couple of kids and is living happily ever after. But in my heart of hearts I know that is very unlikely. Those who have suffered such abuse usually have serious trust issues which interfere with the formation of meaningful relationships. Even though they know on a rational level that the abuse they suffered was not their fault, they often blame themselves by questioning whether the assault was brought on by their seductiveness, which is reinforced by the oft heard “she must have done something to bring this on.” They lack self-esteem, devalue themselves, and feel unworthy. When shown attention, they may be suspicious and distance themselves while others may become promiscuous, feeling they have nothing to offer other than sex. In their search for love, they find themselves in a series of abusive relationships a la the repetition compulsion which Freud so eloquently described.
Meanwhile, I continue to fuss over the op ed that I sarcastically commented on in my most recent blog. I was curious when I first saw the title of Ms. Flowers piece, but as I read on I became so angry that I could have had a Lindsey Graham type temper tantrum on the spot. I immediately wrote a rebuttal in my passive aggressive style, which Maggie thought was worthy of publication however; I feel the subject of child abuse deserves something more than a few smart-ass comments. I felt that Mary’s story speaks eloquently as to the effects of childhood sexual abuse. Fortunately, most cases are not so horrifying as hers, yet even less aggressive acts can have long lasting effects.

More light required
Yes, I was angry with the writer for her blame the victim tactic, and her concern about Kavanaugh’s “pain” but not one kind word about Dr. Ford. But the clincher for me was closing statement in Ms. Flower’s op ed in which she writes: “That we have now reached the point that assaulted children are considered appropriate conversational tender sterilizes the soul and induces a nausea that can’t be eliminated…”I submit that such an attitude is a major contributor to child abuse. For too many years as with Mary, most such vile acts which have robbed many children of their innocence often leaving them significantly impaired with a lifetime of suffering have been carried out in secret.
There has been some progress in shining the light on the problem e.g. there are now mandatory reporting laws in most states which require physicians, nurses, social workers, emergency rooms, psychologists, etc., to report their suspicions that a child is being abused, and yes that includes the sexual abuse which Ms. Flowers insists should not be a subject of “civil discourse.” It is also encouraging that many charged with caring and working with kids are being prosecuted, and that the veil of secrecy that has surrounded the violation of children by priests is being lifted. However, the National Center for Victims of Crime reports some very disturbing statistics which confirm sexual abuse of children remains a serious problem:

  • 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse;
  • Self-report studies show that 20% of adult females and 5-10% of adult males recall a childhood sexual assault or sexual abuse incident;
  • During a one-year period in the U.S., 16% of youth ages 14 to 17 had been sexually victimized;
  • Over the course of their lifetime, 28% of U.S. youth ages 14 to 17 had been sexually victimized;
  • Children are most vulnerable between the ages of 7 and 13.
  • 75% are abused by people they know and often those whom they trust
  • 23% of reported cases are perpetrated by kids under the age of 18
  • 40 to 80% of such juvenile offenders have themselves been victims

As we have witnessed in that infamous recent Supreme Court hearing, many of the old habits which allowed such awful acts to be inflicted on our children are still in place. The issue must not be swept under the rug as Ms. Flowers suggests but should be considered “civil discourse” of the highest order. Pedophiles do not feature a sign on their foreheads announcing their sexual proclivities therefore; those to whom we entrust our children deserve careful scrutiny. My own experience in that regard accentuates that truth.

Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
He was a person for whom I had a great deal of respect. We first met when I was a psychiatry resident, and I was impressed with his knowledge and competence as a board-certified child psychiatrist with many years of experience in institutional practice with a University affiliation.

Upon completion of my residency, he invited me and a couple of other recent graduates to join him and form a group practice. Fortunately for me, I received another offer for later I was shocked to find he was sentenced to a lengthy prison term for child sexual abuse. He had apparently managed to abuse children, in most cases, who were residing in institutions, where complaints would likely be ignored. Of course, no one knows how many lives he may have ruined. In retrospect I realized I had missed all the warning signs.
Yes, it is my most ardent belief that the problem of childhood sexual abuse deserves serious attention and more “civil discourse” not less of it.


Last night, I completed reading a book of horrors by Craig Unger which easily surpasses the novels of Stephen King in scariness. It is titled HOUSE OF TRUMP, HOUSE OF PUTIN. Unger chronicles the rise of Putin arm and arm with the Russian mafia who were rewarded with vast sums of riches to become the world’s richest and most famous oligarchs. He likewise explains how the collapse of the Soviet Union allowed unemployed highly trained KGB operatives to become international criminals with the blessing of their comrade in arms, Putin. Privatization of the country’s businesses allowed him to pass out the country’s assets to his KGB buddies. In return they were to engage in traditional information gathering, but also make themselves available to provide disinformation with the goal of fomenting chaos and confusion throughout the world. They were also valuable as assassins who were able to squelch dissent in the good old-fashioned KGB manner.
According to Unger, Putin was obsessed with returning Russia to a position of world power, but the breakup of the union left his country in a weakened condition. His solution was to develop a strategy of infiltration of other governments and make use of the limited resources remaining to gain influence abroad and weaken or even destroy alliances which were not friendly to Russia. The purchase of such influence was expensive, but Putin preferred investing in his plan than in his people. He also had available a cadre of thugs with considerable expertise in the art of turning enemies into assets by other means such as setting them up for blackmail. They had also become expert in assessing individual weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Although not averse to using tried and tested Stalinist tactics to gain and remain in power, Putin’s genius lay in his recognition early on as to the value of the internet to sow seeds of discontent inexpensively.
The author writes extensively of Donald Trump’s connections to criminal elements and of his father whom he alleges had made use of organized criminal elements in order to bypass building regulations. However; it could be that such connections were merely accepted as the cost of doing business during a time when the Italian mafia exerted a lot of control over unions and local politicians. Early in his career, Donald is said to have become dependent upon the services of Roy Cohn, who had gained fame as Joe McCarthy’s right-hand man in the communist witch-hunt (where else have I heard that term?) of the 1950s, and for coercing Ethel Rosenberg’s brother into falsely testifying in her trial, which resulted in her execution in the electric chair (not one of the U.S. Halls of Justice’s finest hours). He also was the consigliere for the Gambinos and Genoveses, New York’s most prominent crime families. Additionally, the author reports that Trump’s current spokesperson, Kelly Ann Conway is said to be the granddaughter of a known mafioso. Although one should not be punished for the sins of one’s father or grandfather, one can’t help but wonder as to her views on law and order. Trump is not accused of criminal activities in this book; however, as has been said many times: “if you sleep with dogs you risk having fleas.”
As the oligarchs created by Putin continued to rip off their homeland, they faced a dilemma regarding what to do with all of that money. Their economy was unstable; they wished to launder their money, preferring the dollar to the ruble. Both real estate and gambling were good venues for such activities and many of these dudes became Donald Trump’s best customers, spending millions of dollars on the purchase of his lavish apartments, including many in Trump tower, and his Trump World Tower. Trump’s Taj Mahal casino was fined $477,700 for violations of the bank secrecy act, but the records have been scrubbed as to the details of this case. It is presumed in the book that the casino’s lax oversight encouraged money laundering.
As presented in the book, the origins of the invasion of the US by the Russian mafia is a good example of the maxim that “no good deed goes unpunished.”  During the cold war, immigration rules were relaxed for Russian Jews due to reports of their harsh treatment and incarceration. This provided an opportunity for the Russian government to unload its worst and most violent criminals from their gulags. All the prisoners needed to do to be released and go to America was make a quick conversion to Judaism. Most of the emigres settled in New York’s Brighton Beach, an area very familiar to Trump since his father had real-estate interests there. The Russians of Brighton Beach quickly gained a reputation for outdoing the Italian mafia in violent criminal activities. They eventually became organized, and with the help of Putin’s oligarchs, organized and were able to operate internationally with a variety of talents including: murder, robbery, money laundering, extortion, prostitution, gun smuggling, human trafficking, and drugs. They also put some of their ill-gotten gains to good use with bribes to government officials in countries around the world.
Whatever had been Trump’s prior relationships to the Russians, they were solidified when they came to his aide following the bankruptcies of his Atlantic City casino businesses. Although he is said to have actually benefited financially from the bankruptcies by giving himself an enormous salary while his investors were stiffed, he had residual debt and banks would no longer finance his proposed ventures. Russia’s state-owned bank came forward with loan guarantees and he was back in business. There are also suspicions as to his knowledge of or even involvement in the money laundering by the Russians. However; Putin’s support would not end there, for according to our intelligence agencies, the Russians were heavily involved in attempts to further Trump’s political career with all manner of extremely sophisticated computer programs, which allowed them to send millions of personalized bits of misinformation to voters.
Trump has made it clear both in rhetoric and actions that he wants not only detente but friendship with Putin. He has stated on several occasions that friendship with Putin is a “good thing,” but some of us ask “good for whom?” Most would agree that Putin is a slick dude. While Bush looked in his eyes and judged his soul to be in the right place, he was already planning a program to eliminate dissent and political opponents the KGB way. I recall one person (wish I could remember his name) who said in response to Bush’s analysis: “Putin doesn’t have a soul, he’s KGB.”
It is no secret that Putin laments the loss of neighboring countries with the dissolution of the Soviet Republic, and it is not a giant leap to suggest he would like to have them all back under his control. His major impediment to reaching that goal (obviously) is NATO due to its overwhelming military and economic prowess. The book lays out evidence that his stable of super-hackers have been busy not only working on our elections, but extending their “divide and conquer” strategy to other parts of the world, most notably Europe. Some believe that the Brexit problem, now threatening the cohesion of the European union was engineered by Putin’s digital army. Russia’s involvement in the Syrian Civil War has contributed to the refugee crisis in Europe, which has resulted in squabbling between European nations and an increase in nationalistic sentiment.
It is well documented that the divisiveness we now see in the U.S. is more severe than at any time since the Civil War. As a child of both the Great Depression and World War II, I grew up in a time when camaraderie was the norm. There was dissent, but it lacked the vitriol which we now hear daily. Now adolescent school yard bickering often replaces respectful debate. Character assassinations, which in past generations could precipitate challenges to a duel, are now accepted as the norm. There are even death threats toward those with differing political views. The racism which had been tamped down in the 1960s and ’70s has once again reared its ugly head.
Yesterday, I was glued to the TV in spite of my revulsion. The senate Judicial Committee was convened to evaluate and confirm a candidate for the Supreme Court. Republicans had announced they would do all in their power to secure Kavanaugh’s appointment while democrats had admitted they would do everything they could to prevent it. Such decisions had been made long before the convening of the session. As we all know the Supreme Court was designed as the one institution in government that is to be totally apolitical. To further that aim such appointments were required to be approved by the entire senate, and to last a lifetime. All this was to insulate them from political pressure. Yet, here we were watching a political food fight with accusations, insults, and temper tantrums. This August body deliberated with all the decorum of a mud wrestling match. Ah, but I digress for it was my original intention to stick to a review of the book; although yesterday’s charade was an even more obvious example of how our politicians play into Putin’s hand by accentuating our differences.
As a matter of fact, Mr. Putin must be very happy with the progress he has made in disrupting alliances both here and throughout the world, thereby loosening the bonds that have limited his military adventurism. Whether unwittingly or deliberate our President’s policies have dove-tailed quite nicely with Putin’s game plan. POTUS has systematically insulted most of our friends and allies. He has whenever possible withdrawn from treaties and trade agreements, especially those which were negotiated by the Obama administration. He has actually denigrated NATO, and congratulated those members who have become more nationalistic. His isolationist policies have diminished our role as world leaders. He seems to take great stock in personal relationships in international relationships which sometimes leads him to ignore his advisers. His denial of Russian involvement in our elections has been an impediment to our development of strategies to prevent future attacks. His persistent attacks on our various institutions including the news media and even his own justice department further undermine our confidence and respect for our country. He has at times endorsed violence as a means to limit dissent.
Trump has insisted that he has had no dealings with Russia however; in a Newsweek interview (10/01/18), Unger expands on his book narrative by reporting that in 1984 a Russian mafia member purchased 5 Trump condos for $6 million dollars and since then Trump has sold 1300 condos world wide receiving commissions of 18 to 20%. Since most were bought through shell companies, Trump is able to plead ignorance of any knowledge of money laundering however; Unger asserts it strains credulity that he did not know who were the real buyers. Unger insists that the Russian mafia reports directly to Putin who is now said to be the richest man in the world. With all that in mind, Unger concludes Trump to be a Russian asset with strong connections to Putin. Other than with his verbal denials, Trump does little to refute these allegations. To the contrary, his professed admiration of Putin as a “great leader” along with his insistence that meetings with Putin and his ambassador be held in private only increase suspicions.
As disturbing as these suspicions may be, I found myself even more sickened by the chapter which listed in great detail those with prominent roles in our government who became involved as attorneys or lobbyists for the Russian mafia. The most disappointing was the case of Bob Dole the former Republican senator, candidate for President, and severely wounded WWII veteran. He is reported to have received a $560,000 fee to help one of the Russian billionaire oligarchs to obtain a visa to visit the US. There is also the strange case of William Sessions former director of the FBI, who had warned the world of the dangers posed by the brutal Russian Mafia, but a few years later took on as a client a Russian mob boss on the FBI’s 10 most wanted list.
Since we entered the Trump era book writing about him has become a cottage industry with a new one seeming to appear every week with most painting an unfavorable opinion of him. They are summarily dismissed as fake news or left-wing propaganda promoted by left wing conspirators. However; this book is populated with dozens of unpronounceable Russian names and lists specific times and places their activities were carried out. It has an unbelievable 52 pages of references and a listing of 60 Russians he alleges to be involved along with the familiar names of Americans accused or convicted of nefarious Russian involvement. I can hardly imagine the amount of research done to produce such detail.
For all who have an interest in learning about the vulnerabilities inherent in any democracy this is a must read. Even more importantly it illustrates that other than voting (an area in which we are sorely lacking), our best defense against authoritarianism is a free press. Those who declare the press to be an enemy of the people deserve close scrutiny in books like this.


My entire morning has been wasted by watching the Supreme Court hearings. At my age the supply of mornings left for me is limited therefore; I can’t afford to spend them recklessly. It was clear from the beginning that nothing worth watching would occur for as usual the two sides were lined up as in a giant tug of war, each hoping to drag the other into the mud. It would all be perfectly predictable, and since each side spoke with one voice there would be no evidence of independent thinking on either side for as journalist Walter Lippman once said: “Where all think alike, no one thinks very much”.
With that in mind I decided to eschew political subjects and focus on my favorite subject, namely myself. It would also spare my conservative daughter Trudy from enduring the embarrassment caused by the writings of her radical left-wing old man. As you must have guessed from the title of this paper I have finally succumbed to the ravages of time and have accepted the fact that I am OLD. My rationale for writing this autobiographical gem is that it is to be a public service announcement designed to provide some insight as to what lies ahead for you who are fortunate enough to become old however; if it garners some sympathy for me that would be perfectly acceptable.
It is true that as an old person I have a lot of company. People are living much longer and according to the 2014 census figures there were 4 million women and 2.1 million men over the age of 80 in the U.S. (are you gals sure about that gender equality thing?). As I mentioned in a previous blog there have been unintended consequences of the increased longevity. As I mentioned in a previous blog we are now a liability since we gobble up a lot of resources and contribute little.
Actually, there is no such thing as an Old Farts Club although there should be. AARP was designed to represent us, but they have found the insurance business to be more lucrative. In spite of its name, flatulence, although favored, should not be a prerequisite for joining The Old Fart’s club, although nearly all octogenarians could satisfy that criterion. For that matter since there are so many of us who suffer from that malady why not put simethicone in our water supply as was done with fluoride. Another option is to develop a method to recover all that methane which would undoubtedly contribute to a solution of the climate change problem. Properly organized such an organization could even form a collective to negotiate the prices of non-prescription drugs which could save millions in stool softener alone, not to mention the money which could be saved on the over-priced low dose aspirin the vast majority of old farts are taking on the advice of their physicians or TV.
Should such an organization come into existence my membership could be easily confirmed as I would arrive with impeccable credentials. One’s bona fides must include well documented behaviors and physical characteristics including the one inferred in the title of our organization. I am sure Barb (my wife) would willingly attest to my possession of innumerable qualifiers. Denial is one of the most powerful of all the mental mechanisms, but in my case, it has been overwhelmed by reality. The evidence which I could no longer hide from myself was exposed last week as I bought a lift chair and a cane.
To give up my well worn but comfortable chair was especially poignant for me. It had offered me blessed sleep at times when I could not lie flat in bed. I had spent endless hours in it escaping from reality via stupid TV shows or reading trashy novels. It also brought up memories of times past when giggling little bodies would occupy “Papa’s chair” then run screaming in mock terror when I feigned an attack. That chair is now occupied by barb who has long coveted it. It was perfect for reading, watching, and sleeping but getting out of it had become a chore for me but a breeze for my petite and agile wife. The new chair works quite well, and I now jump up from it like a teenager. Floyd has accepted it also and seems to prefer it to the old one, but that may have to do more with his understanding of who the alpha is in our house.
TOO MUCH TO BEAR (pun intended)
I accepted my need for the chair, but to accept the need for a cane was or perhaps I should say is more difficult. Although on an intellectual level I accept my old fart status, I would prefer that others would not notice. To use a cane is like having a sign on your forehead which announces: “I am decrepit”. Barb had convinced me that a bruised ego was preferable to a broken hip, so I looked for ways to minimize my exposure. I recalled from my earlier days that some very dapper men carried a walking stick, even those who were in no need of ambulatory assistance. Such instruments could serve the same purpose as an ordinary cane, but rather than the curved handle the shaft was topped with an ornamental ball or figure usually of brass or silver. They were made to be shown off rather than hidden. I was able to locate a number of walking sticks on the internet which I thought would help to disguise my gympieness, however none were long enough for my freaky long legs. Consequently, I bought a conventional very boring cane, which I now use only when all the disabled parking spots are occupied.
Fraternization becomes progressively more difficult as old farts become old old farts. One of my uncles once belonged to a group of other old guys who met for years every day when the weather permitted on a series of park benches which lined the main street of the village in which they lived. They called themselves the liars club. Shortly after my retirement, I sought to replicate this idea, but soon found that it was already too late, for there were not enough able-bodied old farts left. Although activities such as class reunions offer a chance to reminisce, one’s initial response is to wonder how all those old people got in, until suddenly reality sets in.
Recently I have noticed patronizing behaviors on the part of younger people, and have worked diligently on learning to enjoy rather than feel insulted with little success. For example, I abhor being addressed as “honey” or “sweetie”. I am aware that there is a kernel of truth in the aphorism, “once a man and twice a child” but I would rather not be reminded of it. It is true that when someone offers to give me a hand as for example getting up from a chair I tend to react much as would a toddler who insists on doing something without help even though it is beyond his capabilities. The opposite more extreme and hurtful is when one is ignored as if his opinions or observations are tainted by his age.
As you who read my stuff probably realize, I am fond of all those aphorisms I learned in childhood, nevertheless I continue to often avoid making good use of such wisdoms. The “don’t cut off your nose to spite your face” tenet was violated recently when I visited a local pet shop to purchase dog food. As I was preparing to leave, the petite little girl behind the counter asked if I would like for her to carry my purchase out to the car. I responded by throwing the 40 pound bag over my shoulder as if it were a bag of feathers, marching out to my car, going home to take a couple of Tylenol while hoping the pain would only be temporary and that I wouldn’t need another back surgery.
Undoubtedly, a previously disastrous visit to that store was a contributing factor to her kind offer. On that prior visit I was accompanied by my son-in-law, and we were there to make use of the store’s dog wash facility. The visit did not begin well, for Floyd immediately decided to leave his mark by lifting his leg to wet down the display of cat toys. He then noticed another dog in the back of the store and launched an attack. Unfortunately, as he whirled around me at full speed, his leash wrapped around my legs and I ended up seated on my scrawny butt on a very hard floor. It has always mystified me that as men age their buttocks atrophy while women’s grow larger. In any event at that moment I could have used a bit of extra cushion. After I was lifted to my feet, I went about my business in true macho fashion without a whimper.
We old farts spend a lot of time in doctor’s offices and funeral homes. We are often lonely and miss those who have gone before. We are plagued with a variety of aches and pains, but in spite of its problems old age is not without its perks. As has been noted by many it enables one to get away with much unseemly stuff. Candor is usually tolerated and sometimes even admired, although when overdone will often be interpreted as a prelude to senility. Nevertheless, it is liberating to speak one’s mind with little concern as to the repercussions. It even allows some to write blogs with such tasteless titles as the one you are now reading. In recent years I have noted that much younger and often attractive young women may smile and speak to me during chance encounters. I was initially puzzled as to why these cute chicks were hitting on me until I looked in the mirror at which point It suddenly came to me that I must remind them of their grandfather. With that insight I now feel comfortable with and actually enjoy responding to such overtures in a grandfatherly way without fear of garnering the label of dirty old man.
On a recent visit, my doctor answered one of my questions with the statement: “when you get old things don’t function as well”. My response to this illuminating statement was: “no shit!!!” as this was not exactly breaking news. Personal experience made me aware of that great truth some time ago. This body we occupy is indeed an amazing piece of machinery. Mine has served me well and continues to do so in spite of my unrelenting abuse of it. It has survived all these years of constant abuse and only in recent years has rebelled. I have poisoned it with tobacco, an unhealthy diet and ignored its needs to function in the manner for which it was designed. In spite of the fact that it doesn’t function quite as well as it once did, I continue to function reasonably well, but more importantly enjoy and appreciate life perhaps more than I ever have. It is true that old age ain’t for sissys, but as has been said many times it certainly beats the alternative and I feel blessed to have joined the club.
P.S. I suspect my feminist daughter will note that I have used the male gender throughout my story, but this is only because the female experience may differ. Besides, in spite of my best efforts like Freud I have never understood women.




Last week’s news was dominated by dueling funerals.  The lives of John Mccain and Aretha Franklin were celebrated with laughter and tears.  They both came from disparate backgrounds – McCain from a famous military family and Aretha the daughter of a minister in a black ghetto of Detroit.  They were both flawed, she twice a preteen mother who became addicted to alcohol and nicotine, and he a rebellious Annapolis midshipman who seemed to not have found a sense of purpose until suffering years of extreme torture as a prisoner of war.  Who could have predicted that these youngsters would be accorded such epitaphs?  She in an 8 hour funeral preceded by a week of celebration where she was feted as “the queen of soul” and a major civil rights activist.  Equally unlikely was that McCain would become an honored world-renowned political figure who nearly became President.


Of particular interest to me was the transition of McCain from irresponsible hell raiser to one who came to be revered as a model of integrity.  His explanation was: “In prison I fell in love with my country”.  However; I suspect that it may be more accurate to say that he fell in love with his countrymen.  The bonding that occurs in situations where people must rely on others for their continued existence rivals that which we feel for our closest family members even our children.  Much military training is designed to encourage such bonding by doing everything as a group, marching, enduring hardship, suffering together and devising situations in which mutual dependency is essential to success.  Such bonds become so strong in combat situations that those who are forced to leave their buddies may actually grieve and request a return to combat.  After capture and his identification as the son and grandson of admirals McCain was subjected to extremely violent torture.  He credits the care received from his fellow POWs for saving his life, and he would continue to profess his love for them throughout his life.


It is not surprising that McCain would come to accept those codes of honor that were likely drilled into him ad nauseum as a child.  Mark Twain expressed it well with his statement:

“when I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around, but when I              got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned

  Whatever influences came to bear, the qualities of integrity, truthfulness, respect, courage, compassion, loyalty, devotion to duty, and humility were repetitively ascribed to this man by his eulogists.  These are all terms which could be listed under the term honor, a quality that finds particular emphasis in the military academies, and which undoubtedly was the standard expected of him as he grew up.   At some point in his life he seems to have adopted this code of honor which he attempted to apply to his political career.  He did not always behave in an honorable fashion as exemplified by his involvement in the Keating savings and loan scandal, and even worse his abandonment of his crippled first wife for a younger and more affluent one.


To his credit however McCain did assume responsibility for his actions expressed regrets for these dishonorable behaviors, and has sought to make amends.  He even berates himself for having broadcast a Vietnamese propaganda message after having undergone months of unbelievable torture.   Many (myself included) have disagreed with some of his positions, but his courage has only been questioned by one person – a guy who was rejected by his local draft board due to his bone spurs.


His idea of valor was: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity to act despite one’s fears”.  He was willing to take up any cause which he felt was righteous even those contrary to his party’s position.  To accomplish his goals, he was willing to work hand in hand with democrats as demonstrated by his co-sponsorship of the McCain Feingold act designed to limit the effects of big money on elections, or on an immigration bill with Ted Kennedy.  In both cases these guys were far to the left of McCain politically and these relationships did not endear him to the party elite.


True to his ideal of never letting an opportunity go to waste the good Senator set about to arrange in minute detail his funeral and interment.  In my opinion, he did so with two goals in mind.  He had expressed a great deal of dismay about the divisiveness in our government consequently; he wished to set an example of how those with differing political leanings or party affiliations could come together and even be civil.  The seating arrangements sent a message that you should learn how to get along or at least tolerate each other rather than treat members of your opposite party as if they were fugitives from a Leper colony.  McCain must have enjoyed working out the seating arrangements.  I can imagine the chuckle as he seated Al Gore next to Dick Cheney.  I was heartened to see George Bush share a mint with Michelle Obama.  Of course, those of all political persuasions were invited, and the eulogists were likewise all former adversaries.


Yes, the hurrah for bipartisanship was an obvious theme, but I suspect the most delicious of his decisions was to publicly snub the one person who he has not forgiven.  It was made clear that President Donald Trump was not welcome to the party.  How this must have hurt the Donald for this is the person for whom the spotlight was invented, the guy who pushes other dignitaries out of the way in order to be front and center for the photograph at all those international meetings, the guy who demands not respect but adulation, who is on pace to wear out Air force one as he travels the country seeking crowds who will cheer him.  This is the guy who is never wrong consequently; does not need the word apology in his vocabulary.  It must have been humiliating for the greatest President in our history to be upstaged by a corpse.  Way to go John.


In previous blogs I have expressed my concerns as to what I consider a lack of statesmanship in our government. Webster defines statesmanship as “wisdom and skill in the management of public affairs”.  It seems to me that we lack that wisdom in our congress.  Since McCain’s death and throughout this prolonged burial process I have heard many comments such as: “We will never see the likes of him again”.  That thought is indeed frightening to me for we already suffer from a deficit of the likes of him, and if there are to be no more we are in deep trouble.  For all his faults he was a statesman best exemplified by his oft quoted statement that “nothing is more liberating than to fight for a cause larger than yourself”.   Obviously were we to follow this motto many problems would be solved.  Unfortunately, such a strategy has no value in the case of those with narcissistic personality disorder for they are convinced there is no greater cause than themselves.








Daughter Trudy is one of my most loyal fans, but has difficulty dealing with our differing political orientations. On occasion our discussions of politics have even become a bit rancorous consequently; we have agreed to limit our conversations to apolitical topics. I have failed in spite of my best efforts to convert her to a more liberal point of view. She says I am brainwashed by CNN and MSNBC and I accuse her of being rigid (must have gotten that from her Mother). As a closely held critic, she has encouraged me to avoid political topics and stick to more pleasant subjects. She also admits to suffering Trump fatigue, a malady for which I can empathize. Nevertheless; as I expressed in a previous blog, I seem to be hopelessly addicted to this stuff, and in the tradition of addicts of all stripes feel compelled to “just do it one more time.”

Disclaimer + My View of POTUS’s Motivation
All this leads me to provide readers with the disclaimer that opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone. In my last lambaste of the President I opined that he was not unpredictable, rather that his behaviors were consistent therefore foreseeable. Today, as the coverage of his latest barrage of misdeeds at the NATO conference were covered non-stop, I heard the experts on TV question why he does and says such outrageous things as they are clearly unproductive. The only coherent speculation was that it was to please his base. I have a different idea, i.e., he may be playing to his base, but his major motivation is to please himself and what is most pleasing to him is attention.

Attention at any cost
The NATO thing was a glorious opportunity for Trump. It is hard to imagine a stage with a larger audience and he was ready to deliver a masterful performance. To be seen as predicted, front row and center, in the class photo was only exceeded by the video of him insulting the German government. I couldn’t help but wonder if he had arranged for the camera to be there for him as he kicked ass. After all, what good is it to be the toughest kid on the playground if no one knows it? I can imagine some of his more vociferous followers with comments like: “He sure put that Kraut in his place. He ain’t gonna take no shit from nobody” and other raves of adulation.

Cracks in the Trump Wing
This all seemed too much for even his ardent followers and hangers on in the Senate for in anticipation of his rant, they passed a resolution with a vote of 97 to 3 in support of NATO. To me this was the first inkling that Trumpsters in the Senate realizing the very serious consequences of alienation of our NATO allies were willing to put country ahead of domestic politics. It gave me hope that the democratic process has not been entirely subverted. The most frightening aspect of Trump’s performance is that it was carried out despite warnings as to the possible consequences by his advisors and practically everyone else. He was undeterred however and proceeded to show the world his unparalleled negotiating skills which some might deign to call bullying. Unfortunately, in this instance there were no children whom he could lock up to use as bargaining chips.

Danger Zone
If my thoughts on this matter have any validity, we are in great danger. If decisions affecting the country, and indeed the whole world, are based on the status of one man’s ego, we are already in trouble for this one’s is likely a bottomless pit. Theodore Roosevelt’s mantra was “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” Such advice is not likely to ever be heeded by our current President.


This morning as is my usual bent, I proceeded to the kitchen TV and my coffee in order not to miss the morning tweets and learn about the progress towards getting those Thai kids out of the cave. In spite of the worldwide interest in the kids, the major news (not exactly “breaking”) concerned the pending appointment to the Supreme Court. Our former President had been referred to as “no drama Obama” while our Mr. Trump’s moniker could well be “the show must go on, and on, and on ad infinitum”. It is not surprising that the sudden supreme court vacancy would be seen as an opportunity to milk the media for all the coverage, not taken up by some silly story about a bunch of kids who were in imminent danger of dying.
The mechanism to exploit the resignation of Kennedy was set in motion with even greater speed than Pruitt’s dismantling of those silly regulations regarding clean air, water, CO2 emissions and all that climate change stuff. It began with a barrage of tweets touting the wonderful opportunity to appoint a justice for whom the country would be proud. He acknowledged he had a list of potential candidates all of whom “were very smart” were imminently well qualified, and who would do a “great job.” In spite of some huffing and puffing among the democrats, it seems likely that Trump will have his way and confirmation will occur. Mr. Trump has turned out to be very adept at utilizing his marketing and showmanship skills to have his way. Who would have thought such tactics would take him all the way to the Presidency?
You may have noticed that Mr. Trump is very fond of superlatives and judges people as either the greatest or the worst the world has ever known and is certain to nominate “the greatest” candidate. Of course, in the all-around category that title would be reserved for himself.  Nevertheless, he announced he would give careful consideration as to his choice, and as planned, the speculation began. There has been a procession of experts speculating on which lucky person would be crowned. The world is now awaiting the roll of drums and the blaring of trumpets as the great, no the greatest one announces his choice.
When the curtain goes down, attention is soon diverted. Fortunately, he will finish the week with a trip designed to piss off our NATO allies and suck up to his buddy Putin providing worldwide attention as he remains bathed in the spotlight at center stage. This may require him to shove others out of the way in order to be front and center in the traditional photograph at the NATO meeting as he has done at other such get-togethers. Perhaps he could receive even more attention by once again expressing his admiration for some of the world’s dictators or by doubling down on his pronouncement that those reporting the news are enemies of the people. There is also the notoriety associated with his single-handed initiation of a trade war.
Even Trump supporters will acknowledge that humility is not one of his strong suits, and others, myself included, have labeled his ego needs so extreme as to be pathological. Is it an accident that these outrageous behaviors have appealed to so many people, or is it an example of Machiavellian genius? There seems to be no consensus on this point. If he believes a fraction of the untruths he tells he is indeed a sick man, if he knows they are all lies, how could he ever be trusted.
As I mentioned in a previous blog, I have long been concerned as to the mental stability of our President. Those whose egos require such constant attention are usually found to be fragile, and subject to decompensation under stress. In the event some of the investigations underway result in serious charges, the stresses could be overwhelming, and responses unpredictable. I am heartened by the fact that some in my profession have seen fit to attack the so-called Goldwater Rule which forbids psychiatrists from attributing diagnostic categories to public figures. One such protestor has resigned from a position in the American Psychiatric Association in protest of that rule. It has been pointed out this not only impedes free speech but denies those who are the most knowledgeable the opportunity to warn the public of potential dangers.
It is true that knowledge of any kind of emotional problems could be used against a politician as was the case with Tom Eagleton who was forced to leave his candidacy for Vice President in 1972 when it was learned he had been treated with Electric Shock Therapy for depression. It is also true that some of our most successful presidents have had significant problems with mood disorders including Abraham Lincoln and both Roosevelts. But there was also the case of Richard Nixon, who reacted to the stresses of office by becoming paranoid which undoubtedly contributed to his demise. We now know that Reagan was suffering the early stages of an Alzheimer’s type dementia during at least his last year in office. I am sure Nancy was a very nice person, but was she equipped to be an acting president. Should that information have been as available as that of his physical health?
You have probably noted that I am worried about the mental stability of Mr. Trump. I can only hope that in the event my dire predictions come true, the Vice President and cabinet would have the fortitude to initiate procedures to remove him from office as outlined in the 25th amendment.